Friday, April 07, 2006

MAD MAX vs JOHN McCLANE

17 Comments:

Blogger GOLGOZOMOTH said...

this is a dream come true for me.
hot creaking leathers and dark-with-sweat undershirts.
mad max is good in a car as well as in the thunderdome.
john is great at hand-to-hand as well as driving taxis at top speeds through manhattan.
if holly genero could be killed, sending john mcclane into the same devil-may-care-juggernaut trace that mad max skulks around in then john would win easily.
but john wants to live so i give it to mad maximus.

11:32 AM  
Blogger GOLGOZOMOTH said...

i meant trance.
sensitive.........

11:33 AM  
Blogger chimmychummy said...

Jesus H! You fucking ladies do have balls@1 Big hairy ones to!

Mad maximillionn wouldtear out willis' heart and fick his daughters right on fron of his face. babbbbbbbbaaaaaaaammmmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3:04 PM  
Blogger neogeomancer said...

McClane wins. I love the Road Warrior, but Mad Max can suck a nut.

It is so hard for me not to think of this as just Gibson vs Willis. Willis is cooler than he has ever been, while Mel Gibson is making a movie called Apocolypto or some shit.

11:33 PM  
Blogger GOLGOZOMOTH said...

i still think that gibson can be wrangled.
i might be putting my willy on the chopping block here, but gibson was good in SIGNS.
willis has always ruled. not the best actor out there, but he knows it.

gibson and kostner vs. jack burton and john mcClain.

is gibson married?

and chimmy, i know that you and i disagree often but it looks like we both love the crap out of willis. Plus, i love that you didn't just hate on this fight due to it's "movie-ness"

12:41 PM  
Blogger Weapon H said...

mad max is the best at what he does, and what he does ain't pretty. mad max isn't just looking to have a peaceful christmas. he's busy ruling barter town. one man enter john mclane from behind, one man leave! bamf. back to the cookies.

12:58 AM  
Blogger GOLGOZOMOTH said...

to all those that are voting for max let me ask you this: who out of these two would win in an arm wrestling match?

not that i think this answers the versus, i'm just curious.

11:53 AM  
Blogger arsonbear said...

mmmm. this is hard. both of these guys get massively fucked and keep right on fighting. i want to vote for mcclane, because mcclane is the goddamned best. ever.

even though i'm mcclane biased, i think i will still vote mcclane, because if i remember right, mcclane is a bigger dude than mad max. i think when these guys just start trading punches, mad max's face is going to be smashed up faster than john's.

6:09 PM  
Blogger Michael Tonight said...

mcclane is a badass in a land of milktoasts (aka the usa). max houser is a badass in a land of murderous quasi-mutated cannibal punker crocodile dundees. mcclane can handle broken glass on his feet, but max would eat the glass. in which case, he would die and mcclane would win in a weapon h-style trick ending. yipee ki-yay.

this reminds me of something: if the mad max movies are set in the future, then aren't all the "futuristic" haircuts and bondage gear that everyone sports actually kind of quaint by their standards? it'd be like one of us being attacked in the desert by a motorcycle gang of candystriped barbershop quarteteers with handlebar mustaches and election hats.

12:46 AM  
Blogger Michael Tonight said...

golgozomoth, i know you're just baiting me with that SIGNS crap.

12:48 AM  
Blogger GOLGOZOMOTH said...

i wish that i could say that i was lying, but no, i did and do like SIGNS.

BRING IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

5:49 AM  
Blogger Weapon H said...

michael tonight is right although i'm not so much into bondage gear. the only SIGNS i like is Tesla's version.mp

10:07 PM  
Blogger GOLGOZOMOTH said...

just a quick observation on the drawing:

flaccid shotgun

6:33 AM  
Blogger ranchburger said...

Mad Max doesn't have to squint and purse his lips as he fires his weapon, thus he is the winner.

4:51 PM  
Blogger Michael Tonight said...

here you go, golgozomoth. nothing personal.

WARNING!!!! SPOILER ALERT! Read no further if you haven't seen the movie SIGNS.





















I've got an idea for a movie. It's about some cool aliens who growl. The aliens are really powerful, but they have a weakness which is that water kills them. so they decide to invade earth, even though as far as they're concerned 3/4ths of its surface is covered in acid, it rains acid everywhere, all the cities have extensive acid-pumping machinery networks, and all living things on the planet are made mostly of acid. but they don't care. they've decided that this is the planet for them. for them, the glass is half-empty (that's optimism when nothing is more poisonous and corrosive than water to your species! ; ) i almost forgot to mention that the aliens decide to invade the deadly acid planet naked! i guess that since they are smart enough to travel through space and make their spaceships invisible, they could have invented some kind of garment that would prevent water from touching their skin, but not all races acquire "rain-coat" technology at the same pace. so anyway, the naked aliens pretty much take over, but at the last moment the humans figure out the whole water thing and kill all the aliens. oh, and i thought it'd be cool to have the people who discover that water kills them be in the middle east. true, folks in the middle east don't have tons of extra water and probably wouldn't go splashing it on their enemies just to see what would happen, but i figure it'd be a cool metaphor for the way religions started there, and spread the "water" of hope and then the water would symbolize, um, death to our enemies. oh, and the story unfolds through the eyes of a shaky retired priest and his family who live in an L.L. Bean town. The priest quits preaching, and he gets pissed when people treat him like a priest. he's trying to figure out if he gives a fuck about anything, and spooky shit happens on his farm at night. in the end, he learns the lesson that we all learn sooner or later; that we all care about not having our family subjugated by naked aliens with nerve-gas-wrist-needles. i think i'll call it "field of bad dreams."
yours,

m. night shamalama

12:18 AM  
Blogger Michael Tonight said...

to be fair, i thought "signs" was badass and spooky until what was going on became clear. then it seemed like mr. plot-twist was too busy smelling his own farts to bother suspending a little disbelief. i'm starting to think i'm a dick. nobody say anything.

12:24 AM  
Blogger larsface said...

"Signs" also gave yet another reason to NOT live next to a corn field. If you do live next to a corn field you will die by either a psychopathic serial killer OR freak Arian children OR aliens OR witches and tornados. But I did like the movie. Still, McClane wins.

9:11 AM  

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