CHARLIE vs ELLIOTT
posted by Henchy @ 8:14 AM
VERSUS
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9 Comments:
elliott. as far as i know, all charlie did was exhibit exemplary manners. elliott cunningly protected a deformed kid from government agents who would otherwise have shot him with their walkie-talkies.
aha, you are incorrect. Charlie, as of the end of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, presides over a vast, Stark/Wayne-esque corporation that possesses not only all manner of bewildering and advanced machinery but also an army of intelligent and diligent ugnaughts who obviously have no qualms about dispatching children who violate their master's moral code. I think it's safe to assume that fucking with Charlie constitutes an infraction of said code.
oh yeah, snikt.
Why do you always disagree with me, weapon h?
Uncanny, it's true. It's as though the moment you post your opinion, its correct opposite springs from my head as did Athena from Zeus' pate. But were not so different, my esteemed rival. Perhaps we are but two sides of the same coin, you and I.
i seem to have left out an apostrophe in the above post. sorry. here it is: '
Gentlemen, please.
Without the chocolate factory, Charlie is nothing. Without E.T., Elliott is nothing.
So when you put the two of them against each other, I think Elliott would take his ass down. And I'm not just saying that because Charlie sucks so hard. Charlie belongs to a family of sickliness and he's nice and everything. He has it hard, but I just don't see him getting down and dirty and kicking ass.
Elliott has an older brother and anybody who has had one can tell you that you that you eventually have to learn how to defend yourself from an early age. (I have an older sister, so I know.)
And even if their familial situations weren't brought into the equation, I'd still go for Elliott. I just think he would knock him on his ass. This is just the gut instinct of VERSUS.
Elliott is better fed because he isn't poor.
End of story.
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